MOMMAS, Don't Let Your BABIES Grow Up to be SHYSTERS

John Martin | Sep 01, 20240

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This is a true story.

On February 12, 2019, at the UPS hub in Fulton County, Georgia, a UPS semi was leaving via a three lane exit that curved to the right. The driver decided to stop there for a while in the right lane to update his log or whatever, straddling the center lane line and thus blocking the right lane plus half of the center lane.

Another semi from I-Ship (not real name) was right behind him and steered to the far left side of the left lane to get around the UPS truck. In spite of caution as he went around the curve, the back end of his trailer drifted a bit into the center lane and clipped the left headlight from the hood of the UPS truck.

The impact was less than 3 mph, and the damage was minimal, consisting of the headlight assembly and a small portion of the fiberglass hood. The UPS driver was NOT injured.

The UPS driver called one of his buddies in the local police department, who quickly ruled the I-Ship driver at fault. He then filed a claim against I-Ship’s insurance company.

Not all insurance companies pay claims in full, but I-Ship’s insurance went all of the way to set things right. Instead of a simple repair, it provided a BRAND NEW hood and headlight assembly that cost $6500. It paid for every bit of the damage in FULL.

The case was settled, or so I-Ship’s CEO thought. Twenty three months later, he received a notice from his insurance company that it had been slammed with a $350,000 lawsuit—for WHAT?

Somehow, the UPS driver had decided he could cash in his little fender bender for a quick fortune. He had called Georgia’s Queen of Torts, Glenda Mitchell, a female version of ambulance-chaser Alexander Shunnarah, to file a frivolous lawsuit for, as yet unidentified “damages.” What damages? Did he suffer a $350,000 hospital bill from a 3 mph impact on a fiberglass hood?

Apparently, I-Ship’s insurance had paid the $350,000 without any contest. WHY? It was obviously frivolous. WHO made the judgment, and for what? WHO decided on $350.000? WHY was there NO contest? Was I-Ship’s insurance able to get a constitutionally guaranteed jury trial? If not, why not? Can anyone even imagine a verdict to pay $350,000 for NO damages?

After paying the claim, I-Ship’s insurance dropped its coverage, like most do after being whacked with a huge claim—legitimate or otherwise.

And because our legal system continues to corrupt itself in this manner, shysters everywhere rake in huge fortunes from the miseries of innocent victims. Read their billboards. Watch their TV commercials. The proof is right there.

Much of the United States is notorious for insanely huge lawsuits for frivolous or even imaginary damages. In a country as civilized as ours, these are among the most shameful crimes anyone can commit. Yet they remain technically legal. They happen over and over—thousands of times. They can devastate the livelihoods of multitudes of totally honest, innocent people who end up in unfortunate accidents, even minor ones. Don’t forget, these are accidents, NOT willful malice.

What can we do to STOP this LEGALIZED MASS EXTORTION? Does anyone even care?

How can we gain a fair and honest legal system? For example, let’s look at Japan. Some years ago, a plane crashed in its mountains, killing over 100 people. In our country, the ambulance chasers would be swarming everywhere, and with our “justice” would be raking in millions of dollars. But ethics are different in Japan. From that entire planeload of over 100 tragic deaths, there was not even one lawsuit. Japanese people, including lawyers, understand that accidents happen and have enough ethics not to profiteer from them. In Japan, tort lawyers would be obligated to seek more ethical careers.

Of course, I am not talking about all lawyers. We need defense lawyers to protect people from unreasonable prosecution and abuse from various government agencies. And we need lawyers to help people with contracts and other legal matters. But tort lawyers need serious reform. Settlements must be held within the boundaries of reason. Professional extortionists must be stamped out.

To pass on this urgently needed public message, I have decided to do it with a song. I hereby donate all rights to copy, publish, perform, record, distribute, broadcast, and otherwise use it to the PUBLIC DOMAIN—with NO copyright restrictions—to keep people aware of our corrupt tort system.

Everybody is hereby encouraged to record it and post it on YouTube, Instagram, TikTok, Facebook, and whatever media he likes. Perform it in public rallies. Broadcast it on radio and TV.

Make CDs, DVDs, tapes, and vinyl records. If you want to sell them on the internet and at flea markets, be my guest.

Mommas, Don’t Let your Babies Grow Up to be Shysters

Shysters are merchants of misery never to trust

With slick advertising they gather their clients of lust

Big fancy billboards and TV commercials… and hefty commissions and fees

They track down their victims and hijack their assets. Soon they are down on their knees

Mommas, don’t let your babies grow up to be shysters

Don’t let ‘em sue people and steal all their stuff

Let ‘em drive trucks and be cowboys and such

Mommas, don’t let your babies grow up to be shysters

They usurp the law in a devious way

Don’t you believe what they say