Tears & Laughter: The midlife writing crisis

I have not been writing as consistently as I used to. Entirely by choice. Meaning, there are not any problems between myself and any of the newspapers or outlets I write for. It is entirely me.

First, I have been writing for over 30 years now and I guess I am stepping back to see what I think of it all. I take it that is normal.

The world of media has changed. There was a shift that came along with Covid. I do not feel I have the same freedom of speech I once had. I feel this way because I have been squelched over simple things. Nothing major. Just enough for me to know that there has been some steering within the wonderful world of journalism. Independent thinking has become as dead as humor.

It may be changing again. Let’s hope so. There are some gaping holes in media you can see through currently. If nothing else, the way people have been lied to about President Biden’s declining health that has been blatantly obvious for years. Many journalists were, and some still are, hesitant to comment on it let alone write about it, because they fear repercussion.

These same journalists who lied about Joe Biden’s health will now attempt to mislead people about the accomplishments of Kamala Harris as they rush to embrace her. They won’t question so much the questionable way her party has landed her at the top of the Democratic ticket.

I have always admired journalism. Growing up my mother was a writer and unknowingly to either of us at the time, I was a bit of an apprentice to her. I would spend time with her at the newspaper office. I learned through her how to cover features or events and conduct interviews.

With that of course came the opportunity to meet and get to know other writers and editors, many of which are gone now. They have passed away or retired. My mother retired over a decade ago. Now she is battling brain cancer. She was diagnosed in November of 2022. Last week, she became a hospice patient. I can’t pretend that I am not affected, just as all family members of cancer patients are affected.

Add to it the fact that my youngest daughter is still in an extended rehab program that is just over four hours away. She has been there since January 10. She is doing great. So great. She is so healthy now. Her mind is clear, and she is growing and changing and excelling in so many ways. She is learning to use her experiences to help others. I am proud of her. She tells me sending her there saved her life. I know she isn’t exaggerating. She survived a drive by shooting, a near overdose, and violence from her former boyfriend. I am grateful she is alive. I assume with time; the haunting of the past will subside.

It has been difficult to navigate my way through all of this without it sometimes bleeding over into my writing. The weight of it does not allow space for much creative energy.

As much as I have always enjoyed the craft of writing – being able to weave thoughts and words into something with meaning or humor or feeling, as much as I have always respected the profession of journalism…what I appreciate the most, what every writer will be wise to remember, is the audience. The readers.

And I guess as I weigh what matters, y’all are what keeps me writing. I don’t say it enough…but thank you.

Amanda Walker is a columnist and contributor with AL.com, The Birmingham News, Selma Times Journal, Thomasville Times, West Alabama Watchman, and Alabama Gazette. Contact her at Walkerworld77@msn.com or at https://www.facebook.com/AmandaWalker.Columnist.

THE VIEWS OF SUBMITTED EDITORIALS MAY NOT BE THE EXPRESS VIEWS OF THE ALABAMA GAZETTE.