Three Wise Ways To Master Our Mouths

Mastering our mouths, taming our tongues, watching our words is one of the toughest things to do! We use words all the time, not only in our conversations but also in our emails, texts, social media, blogs, posts and tweets. We are a nation of talkers!

“Self-control means controlling the tongue!” – Proverbs 13:3

Another way to put it: He who guards his mouth controls himself.

The Book of James has this to say about the tongue: “...but no human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison.” – James 3:8

Wow. These are harsh words, but, if we want to grow in wisdom, we must learn to master our mouths, tame our tongues, watch our words!

Three Wise Ways To Master Your Mouth:

1. Think Before You Speak

“Intelligent people think before they speak; what they say is then more persuasive.” – Proverbs 16:23

When I was a young pastor, my friend, Dr. George Mathison, taught me an important lesson about watching my words. He told me to always ask myself three questions before I said something:

Is it true?

Is it kind?

Is it necessary?

Those three questions have helped me to keep my mouth shut many times and have saved me from a lot of trouble. No doubt these three questions have kept me from hurting other people and myself on many occasions.

Is it true? Or is it a rumor, an exaggeration or just gossip? Do I know for sure personally that it is true? If not, don’t say it!

Is it kind? Is it meant to encourage and build up? Or is it meant to do harm and tear down? It may be true but is it kind? If not, don’t say it!

Is it necessary? Negative comments, complaints, insults are not necessary! Does it really need to be said even if it is true and kind? Is it necessary for you to say it?

2. Always Speak The Truth

“Someone who holds back the truth causes trouble.” – Proverbs 10:10

Truth is we don’t trust people who don’t speak the truth, right?

We don’t trust people who lie, deceive, exaggerate, manipulate or speak in half-truths.

Have you ever known someone who just as soon lies as tell the truth? Or have you had dealings with someone who practices the art of deception? We don’t tend to enjoy being around them or want to have anything to do with them.

I love the story of the little boy who was always lying. His Mother was so worried about him and his lying that she called her pastor and asked him to meet with the boy to try to help him with his constant lying. The next day, the pastor met with the six-year old boy and told him a story. He said, “Son, yesterday morning I went out to the mailbox to get my mail. As I walked down my driveway, a huge grizzly bear came out of nowhere and was running right towards me. I just knew he would kill me and eat me on the spot. But then, a little

Chihuahua dog came running to my rescue and grabbed that bear by the neck and shook it till it died. Then, that little dog dug a whole in my front yard, buried that bear and walked away. Now, son, do you believe that story?”

The little boy said, “Yes sir, I sure do. That was my dog!”

Friends, if we want to be wise, we must always speak the truth!

3. Speak The Truth In Love

“Gentle words cause life and health.” – Proverbs 15:4

“Thoughtless words can wound as deeply as any sword, but wisely spoken words can heal.” – Proverbs 12:18

There are perhaps two ways we can speak the truth in love into other people’s lives, the hard way and the gentle way.

The hard way is when we need to speak a hard truth into someone’s life. Perhaps, you know someone who is struggling with alcohol or drug addiction or some other habit, hang up or hurt. Sometimes it is necessary to intervene in a person’s life in order to speak the truth in love in order to protect, guard, guide, or save them.

The gentle way involves speaking positive words of encouragement, hope, health, peace and life into the lives of others. It may be a family member, a friend, a co-worker or a total stranger. Speaking the truth of who we are as human beings made in the image of God.

People are hurting, depressed, discouraged, lonely, and feeling distant from others. We can speak the truth in love into their lives! It’s easy to do and a great encouragement to others who need it, and it builds people up by undergirding them with God’s truth.

To review:

Think before you speak.

Always speak the truth.

Speak the truth in love

If we do these three things, we will have come a long way toward mastering our mouths, taming our tongues and watching our words!

Lester Spencer

Lead Pastor

Saint James Church