Tears and Laughter: Stay well or stay home Alabama

There are two types of people in Alabama this week – those who have the flu, and the handful of running scared fearful ones who don’t.

Bless their hearts.

I was one of them until a few short days ago. I had gone out of my way to try and not catch it. I had upped the Vitamin C, was getting plenty of rest, cleaning with Clorox, washing my hands like I had a compulsive disorder, and avoiding people in general.

I had all but taken to wearing a surgical mask and carrying a can of Lysol around with me, but all that effort got me was the flu.

Since most everybody has it at this point, I feel we can be open about it. It is not what anyone would describe as fun. I’m pretty sure my head weighs more than the rest of me right now. It doesn’t fuel a whole lot of creative energy.

I was worrying about what I could write about this week. How was I going to be able to communicate something in a way that people could relate to while feeling in a fog the way I do. But since the flu is now being referred to as an epidemic – schools are closing and hospitals are at full capacity…I think we can all relate.

I’m not going to go on and on about it, because who wants to hear it, but if you are visibly ill, please stay home. That is how it spreads, and grocery stores are already running low on chicken noodle soup. The local liquor store is out of pint size Jack Daniel’s finely crafted Tennessee Honey.

And, not to start complaining, but whoever it was that decided to put on the side of the box that daytime cold and flu formula medicine does not cause drowsiness, is wrong. They should try some of the stuff because if you take it you can practically go to sleep standing up. You might still feel like hell, but you will be so sleepy you won’t be as aware of it.

I happen to know where my flu came from. Sometimes you don’t get to know and other times you do. Mine came from Florida. Yep. I went down to cash in a scratcher from when I had bought power ball tickets the week before. I won $100 and got the flu on a $20 Monopoly ticket. I am so lucky.

There was a woman in the ticket shop who I could tell was running a fever just by looking at her and I am a registered housewife. She was nice, but she was visibly sick.

It was freezing outside, and she was sweating. Plus she was harking and hacking and I will admit that I was getting a little bit paranoid. I did feel like she might have been targeting me. Twice. The first time not so much maybe, but when she came back the second time asking something about the $3 Scrabble ticket, I was convinced.

When my throat started getting sore before sundown, I thought about her and about the Lysol can again and how on the side of it says it kills like 99% of the bad things including the flu virus.

Is that true? Because, back to cold and flu formula medicine that claims not to cause drowsiness…that just doesn’t seem accurate.

Stay well or stay home Alabama. This too shall pass.